In Aug 2001 my sister Tina, (26yrs) was diagnosed with Chronic Myloide Leukemia. As with any news, this totally devastated my family. My reaction.. ok so what do we do about it? Little did I realize what this question would come to represent. My sister's doctor at PMH in Toronto suggested she have a bone marrow transplant, which would be her best chance for survival. Which she wanted to do as she has a family. Bonnie First we went through the family to find a suitable match...thankfully we didn't have to search far as it was determined that I was her match..and an exceptionally close one at that. The transplant was scheduled for March 2002...and this is when fear began to set in for me. This is when it all started to become reality for me. See my sister lives in Northern Ontario & I live down South...10 hours apart. Now here I was in Toronto, with someone who has been my best friend all my life and I was about to do something that up until now I had only read about. We got into Toronto on Mar. 8th 2002. My stem cells were to be extracted through my blood..for a period of 4 days I received Nupogen injections. I realized the doctor had said I would feel uncomfortable but oh my word I had no idea. But I couldn't give up..oh I wanted to..I'd be lying if I didn't...but I knew I had to do it for her. All the while I was getting my injections..I was also with her through her chemotherapy treatments, my own discomfort minimal compared to what I saw her endure. Later it was radiation for preparation for the transplant. On March 13th they harvested my stem cells. I was so terrified...I kept having panic attacks. I know they had told me to bring someone along so I would have someone to talk to (this was a 5-6 hr process) but it was just her & I...I knew of no one to have with me...so I did it alone. I have never been afraid of much in my life but I can honestly say that day I cried as never before. March 14th was her transplant day..all went well. She was even out of hospital early...May 7th she got out..just before Mother's Day. Now here we are alomost 1 year later and she isn't doing so well. She has Graft Host's Disease really bad. Her doctor had wanted to wean her off the Prednizone to try something else but then kept her on it...upping the dosage. They also put her on a new drug...the name eludes me. It's suppose to weaken her immune system in order to give my stem cells a chance..only now she has caught a cold which has developed into pneumonia. My sister is still that...my sister. Yet she has changed in so many ways. Gone are the days of the child with picture perfect health...who could take a flu virus and experience nothing more than an upset stomach. I don't know for how much longer my sister will be here...I hope it is for quite some time for there is still much I want to do with her. I thank my cousin for this opportunity to meet others who can help me understand and cope with what I am going through. God Bless - Bonnie May 30th, 2003 - Just another little update on Tina. She recently did a trip to Toronto (prior to the second outbreak of SARS) and she finally got back some of her previous tests results. Her one year bone marrow tests showed no sign of leukemia cells..excellent news!!! With that we are also happy to say that her Graft Host's Disease is finally starting to clear up...though it is still causing her great discomfort. We are just extremely happy with how things are going so far and we'll continue to take things one day at a time. May 8th, 2003 - Just an update on Tina...it's been over a year now since we did the bone marrow transplant and things are rough. The doctor had warned us about this but of course we had no idea. Tina is suffering from Graft Host's Disease..in which her body perceives my stem cells as a foreign body and her immune system is attempting to kill them off. She gets a sort of rash that resembles a sunburn and even feels like one..you can't hug her or touch her and even wearing clothing is of great discomfort to her. In Dec.2002 Tina was put onto an immuno-suppressant drug which lowers her immune system. Unfortunately it leaves her susceptible to all kinds of illness. Living in Northern Ont. it stands to reason the most common illness would be colds and for Tina that means pneumonia. She first caught pneumonia in January and 4 rounds of antibiotics finally cleared it up..now in April she has it again and just recently started her second round of antibiotics. We continue each day as best as we can. I thank everyone for their prayers and messages of encouragement. - Bonnie It is hard to have travelled on such a long journey with your sister and to feel there should be so much more time to share together. It is hard to have given so much and hoped so much yet feel that hope slipping away. To have watched someone suffer so much and felt that suffering in your body. No release. It is hard to have felt so alone, yet been so close. To carry the burden yet feel humbled compared to your sister's experiences. It is hard to feel selfish when you feel your needs are too great. It is hard to live this life. So many questions that will last a life time, with few answers to wrap around you and make you feel cozy and snug. At peace. I send you my thoughts and hold you close special person. - Cher